Dream on


The church roof needs re-tiling

The tower needs re-spiring

Those pews will have to go:

they really are a so-and-so


That window wants repairing

The upper room re-stairing

The heating’s on the blink

The vestry needs a brand new sink


That picture needs re-framing

The inside tiles re-staining

The paths are breaking up

We’d like to have a Coptic cup


The walls needs stabilising

The damp is surely rising:

its mark is coming through

It’s time we had a flushing loo


The church bells need replacing

The chancel walls re-facing

The altar rails have cracked

We’d love a shiny artefact


But no – please stop this dreaming

‘cos at the risk of screaming

(if it’s not blasphemy):

you need to GET A FACULTY!


© Richard Farquharson, Maulden, Bedfordshire March 2016